A while back I had a bit of an epiphany about the rising tide of #metoo allegations.I was watching an interview with British MP Diane Abbott on the subject of sexual harassment and abuse in UK politics.
She was asked why there hadn’t been any allegations of female politicians abusing their staff and after pointing out that there are a lot fewer women politicians and that allegations against women tend to be treated less seriously she gave a truly fascinating answer. She said something like “In general middle aged women tend not to be convinced that much younger men are irresistibly attracted to them.”
Bam! There it was. The interviewer should have passed her a mic to drop.
Powerful men have got used to the idea that sexual access to women is part of the reward package of power. And that’s partly because of the idea that women, even young attractive women, are irresistibly attracted to wealthy and powerful men simple because those men have money and influence.
I was a teenager the first time someone told me that women are attracted to gross old men if those men have enough wealth or power. It sounded like bullshit to me at the time because I knew that I absolutely was not. I didn’t start to understand this supposed attraction it till I watched the original British series of House of Cards.
The central character, Francis Urquhart, was weirdly magnetic in spite of his age and the fact that he was most definitely the bad guy. Here was I, a young woman, feeling attracted to a much older and morally dubious man of wealth and power. Therefore people were right. Powerful men were attractive. But looking back that’s not what was going on at all.
Francis Urquhart was played by the late Sir Ian Richardson. He was a man of genuine beauty and grace and a tremendous actor. He created a monster but Urquhart was a charismatic monster with a voice like honey and brilliant mind. I can overlook a little matter like relative age when the rest of the person has that much going for them. And regardless of attraction I hope that I would have had the good sense not to sleep with him.
I’m not saying that money isn’t attractive. It’s a lot easier for a man to be charming when he can spoil you. Fame has its attractions too. But they don’t make a man irresistible. I’m 46, fat and ugly and no matter how irresistible he thinks he is I wouldn’t fuck Donald Trump with a borrowed vagina. Some women do find him attractive but it’s becoming clear that there’s a lot less of them than he thinks.
Rich and powerful men have been largely insulated from the negative consequences of their actions until now. This means that they’ve never had to learn that people just aren’t that into them. We are all living through the consequences of their unexamined privilege.