I have decided that the regular diet updates were as boring as hell. I don’t want to ditch them entirely but I want to change the focus. I think my overall health is more important than my weight. And I’m sick of this blog getting followed by diet and weight-loss blogs.
Some of you will be thinking ‘I bet that means she’s put on weight again’ but no. Actually I’ve lost half a kilo which is just over a pound so my total weight loss is now just over 15kg (33 pounds). I don’t know how. I’ve not been sticking to the strict eating plan and I’ve hardly been wearing my compression tights so I don’t think it’s all fluid. All I can say is that my body continues to be a mystery.
No news on the replacement compression hosiery. I hope they’re going to arrive soon but it’s possible that they’ve been doubly delayed by the weather. Either that or the manufacturer has lost the order again. Not much going on with exercise because of the fibromyalgia flare up that caused the horrible back spasms. My back pain might be easing off but it’s too early to be sure. It could just be lulling me into a false sense of security.
In mental health news I’m doing an excellent job of seeming ok but I’m having serious executive function problems so I know that something is not right. Or maybe it’s just the same thing that’s never been right and I’m just less tolerant of it than usual.
In creative news I’ve got some excellent ideas for the sequels to the completed novel that I was querying and to the novel I’m finishing off. Sequels are great in theory but if I don’t get those novels published then they’re just more wasted effort.
Before I begin my update I have a message for the various diet and weight loss blogs that keep liking these posts and following this blog. Please stop. This blog is not for you. I regard the entire weight loss industry as predatory. Fat people are not necessarily unhealthy. A person’s size has nothing to do with their value as a human being. 95% of all diets fail and the 5% that succeed only do so by the most meagre definition of success.
I’m not dieting out of any hope that my life will improve or that I will look better or feel better. I’m dieting to prove my doctor wrong. I’m dieting because that’s a thing I have to do if I eventually want to get surgery for my lipoedema. And I don’t have to like it. In fact I hate it. It makes my life so much harder than it needs to be and my life was already pretty fucking hard.
And now we continue with our regularly scheduled update. This week I lost 0.2kg (200g or less than half a pound). That doesn’t seem statistically significant to me. On the other hand it’s not weight gain so I’m not complaining. I had to take a break from my push to 100 squats because my knee objected.
I also had an appointment with the Lymphoedema Nurse to check on my compression tights. She’s suggested replacement compression garments with lower level compression and in a different design. The hope is that they’ll be easier to get on and that I’ll be able to wear them all day.
This week I lost 1.3kg (just over 2 and a half pounds). My total weight loss is now 14.4 kg (31.6 pounds or 2 stone, 3.6 lbs). After experimenting with the positioning of my scales I can be fairly sure this is genuine weight loss but of course much of this week’s total will be down to fluid being forced out of my legs by my compression tights.
Wearing my compression tights continues to be a massive pain in the arse. And everywhere else. Just getting them on uses most of my spoons meaning that I don’t have much left over for chores or writing or working on the thing I’m crocheting for my daughter’s birthday. Or even for reading the book I’m reviewing.
More and more I’m questioning why I’m even on this fucking diet. Let us not forget that calorie restriction is not a treatment for lipoedema, that my value is not inversely proportional to my size, and that no level of weight loss is going to magically render me decorative enough to be societally acceptable. I only got on this damn treadmill because weight loss is a hoop that I have to jump through in order to access the treatments that actually do work.
I am trying to commit to more exercise. Not to lose weight but because I want to be stronger. I’m thinking of taking on a 100 squat 30 day challenge. The idea is to work up to 100 squats a day (any kind of squat counts) and then keep it up for 30 days. I have no idea if this is a good idea but I do think it’s important to have goals.
Still not back on the diet but I do have a food delivery planned so by the time you read this I should be thoroughly miserable and craving bread. I did weigh myself this week and I’d lost 0.6kg which is just over a pound. It’s bound to be fluid rather than fat though.
Still no sign of the NHS compression garments but I’ve been using the compression leggings that I bought for exercising in. They’re more comfortable than I was expecting. I went for a walk today and it was a lot easier than I was expecting. I think the leggings might be helping to stabilize my knee joints.
I have been strength training but I’m so out of shape that I’m still concentrating on form rather than adding resistance. I think it’s a bad idea to lift heavy with poor form. I’m also trying to build a habit of exercise. If exercising feels natural to me then I’m more likely to do it. I think at this stage that’s more important than pushing myself.
Because I am not back on the diet yet. I did weigh myself as usual and I have gained 1.3kg (2.8 pounds). Some of it will be fluid but some of it is bound to be fat.
I’m not on the diet because I have failed at step one of any good eating plan. The shopping. If you don’t have enough of the right food in the house then you end up eating the wrong food or the right foods in the wrong combinations.
I can’t fix the shopping problem because we are too broke this week. It will be at least a week and a half before I can stock up on the right foods.
My visit to the nurse this week also ended in failure. I don’t have the compression garments I need for my lipoedema because the manufacturer didn’t make them. There is clearly some whole big thing going on there but I can’t work out what it is and I find it hilarious that mine was the only order that didn’t get made.
I ordered some compression leggings from a company that makes gym wear and I’m wearing them right now. They’re comfortable enough and I can do my weight training in them. They even look ok, though obviously not on me. Now I just have to work out how to stop feeling guilty for spending money on them.
Since dropping the diet for the festive season I’ve lost 0.5kg (roughly a pound). But that’s oversimplifying things a bit.
I’ve weighed myself 3 times since the last update. At the first one I’d put on 3kg (just over 6 and a half pounds, nearly half a stone). I nearly panicked and went back on the diet but we’d already bought the Christmas food. And the next day my period started. I concluded that the weight gain was mostly down to fluid.
The next time I got on the scales I’d lost the 3kg and was back to exactly the same weight. So presumably it was fluid.
The third time I’d lost the previously mentioned 0.5kg. That’s probably also fluid. It’s unlikely to be fat and I hope it’s not muscle because I have been about as active as I was before Christmas.
Today I’m back to actively tracking food and I intend to ease back into restricting first the carbohydrates and then the calories. I also intend to actually start weight training. I should have started already but putting together the squat stand and the bench is looking like a two person job and my beloved is currently laid low by a cold.
This will probably be the last diet update of 2017. This week I lost 0.8kg which is just over a pound and a half. That’s pretty good given that for the last two days I’ve shifted from weight loss eating to weight maintenance eating. I plan to stay in maintenance mode till the new year.
The maintenance version of my eating plan has more calories and less focus on restricting carbohydrates but is still lower carb than I would normally eat and I’m still tracking all food. I will also be consuming alcohol which is something I’ve barely done since September. Booze is high in calories and drunk people make poor food choices which is why I’ve been avoiding it. I’m not going to go overboard though. We’ve already bought in all the drink we’ll have between now and the new year.
My total weight loss for the year now stands at 12.3 kg (27 pounds or just a pound short of 2 stone). That’s pretty good. I mean you can’t really see it except for in my face and hands. I had hoped that by now I’d be slightly slimmer round the middle since my waist is one of the places that there shouldn’t be Lipoedema fat but so far no luck.
I intend to start my exercise plan between Christmas and the New Year. Wish me luck.
This week I lost 2kg. Of course some of that was the half kilo I put on last week so it’s only a net loss of 1.5kg (about 3 pounds). This is for a total weight loss of 11.5kg (25 pounds).
Still not much of a visible change though. In fact there’s so little change in my forearms that I’m starting to worry that I might have lipoedema there as well. At least I now have an appointment for the next stage of assessment for the lipoedema and it’s less than a month away.
With the end of NaNoWriMo approaching I think it’s time to think about a proper exercise plan. Going to a gym just isn’t practical but I do have a rowing machine. Now I just have to work out how to use it. I’ve got a bunch of weights for weight training but no bars to put them on, no bench and no squat rack. I suppose it’s a start.
I have lost 3.3kg (7lb or half a stone) since my last official weigh in and 8.5kg (18.7lbs or 1 stone and 4lbs) since the start of the diet. That’s ridiculous. You can’t lose half a stone of fat in a week. Clearly my weight is all over the place and it’s probably because of fluid.
I have been a bit more careful about carbs and about meal planning this week. There’s still room for improvement though. I’ve also been starting to think more seriously about exercise. Calorie restriction alone isn’t going to work in the long term.
Exercise is going to be tricky. I have mobility problems, chronic pain and no money. I’ve started with incline pushups and bodyweight squats. I’ve gone from being able to do 4 good form pushups and 1 terrible form squat to 10 and 5 with good form and reasonable speed. My husband has a rowing machine that I’m thinking about using but for some reason haven’t tried out yet.
Ideally I’d like to get back into weight training but with little room in the house, no money for a gym membership, and no easy way to get to a gym it’s going to be tricky. We’re thinking about moving some of the furniture around to make room for weights. I already have some weights and it’s not too expensive to buy more. It’s a decent squat rack and bench that’s going to be expensive. You don’t want to skimp on those because that’s a safety issue.
Last Update. Diet update page