+++ZEPPELIN FORECAST FOR NEW HAMPSHIRE+++

+++PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP CALLED NEW HAMPSHIRE A “DRUG-INFESTED DEN” DURING PHONE CALL WITH MEXICAN PRESIDENT, JANUARY+++

+++TRUMP SAID,”I WON NEW HAMPSHIRE BECAUSE NEW HAMPSHIRE IS A DRUG-INFESTED DEN” AND “KIDS ARE BECOMING ADDICTED TO DRUGS BECAUSE THE DRUGS ARE BEING SOLD FOR LESS MONEY THAN CANDY,”+++HE CITES MEXICO AS THE SOURCE FOR THE SUPER CHEAP DRUGS+++

+++NEW HAMPSHIRE RESIDENTS OBJECT TO THE PRESIDENT’S CHARACTERISATION OF THEIR STATE AND POINT OUT THAT ALTHOUGH HE WON THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARY HE LOST BOTH THE POPULAR AND THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTE IN THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION+++

Ok, that last bit was me joking but the rest of the story appears legit. There is a genuine opiate problem throughout the US and New Hampshire has been particularly badly hit with a tenfold increase in deaths from opiate overdose from 2011 to 2015. I don’t think this increases the chances of Zeppelin sightings since this is clearly a long standing problem however it does suggest a new runner in the apocalypse stakes.

Apocalypse watchers I give you the Drug Apocalypse. This is the apocalypse where an increasing reliance on drugs blinds the lower classes to class iniquity and allows the super rich to hijack democracy leading to an inevitable societal breakdown. It’s the only possible explanation for the drugs being so cheap. If the super rich weren’t subsidising the drugs there’s no way that they could be cheaper than candy.

There’s now a page on the blog collecting all the Zeppelin related material: Zeppelins!

 

+++GLOBAL ZEPPELIN FORECAST+++

+++TECH GIANT NAME TAKEN FROM LORD OF THE RINGS AND MISSION STATEMENT FROM MINORITY REPORT IN DEALS WITH THE LAPD, CIA, FBI, NSA, CENTRE FOR DISEASE CONTROL, US MARINE CORPS, USAF, AND OTHERS+++

Go read the link. I’ll wait.

We appear to be dangerously close to crossing over to a ‘dystopian surveillance state’ type alternative universe. Even more worrying is the information that this has been going on since 2004.

I predict a minimum 10% chance of Zeppelin sightings anywhere in the world. That is now the new probability floor and I don’t expect that to change any time soon. Furthermore this now adds to the global chance of a machine apocalypse. We are now at  1% chance of machine apocalypse, 1% chance of zombie apocalypse and 1% chance of total societal breakdown from some other cause. Your local chance may be much higher.